Happiness, Redefined.

I was listening to an interesting talk on happiness among Icelanders and the speaker popped the question: “When were you last truly happy?”. That question hit me hard.

If I were to choose a time that I was last truly happy, it would be a year ago spending time with good company with meaningful conversations and deep connections. After reflecting back on this, only then did I realize that it has been so long since I felt that surge of happiness coursing through my veins.

I used to spend my days in the pursuit of happiness. As I grew older, I found the term 'happiness' to be such a strong word. Rather than being happy, my outlook on life changed to gratitude, contentment and savouring and cherishing the small moments in life.

Like how Julia Michaels beautifully phrased it,

"I look at happiness in microdoses, and all the little things equate to larger happiness." 

Perhaps there will come a day when I will truly feel happy again. Till then, let's savour each moment.

The Invisible Lines That Connect Us

It's been a year since I last updated this space. Time sure flies. In between hustling towards my dream career, I'm glad to take a breather and do the things I love most, sharing and connecting with people.

Yesterday, we had a sharing session on mental illness, an issue very close to my heart. Through our sharing, we talked about some difficult things, abusive relationships, eating disorders, and the stigma around mental health.

As an advocate of mental health, I'm glad that at least now, we have the space and opportunity to freely talk about these things. To be vulnerable, to share our innermost thoughts, and not be judged for it. A tiny spark can create fireworks. When one person initiates the conversation, it disseminates and soon becomes a movement.

Sharing and caring create a ripple effect. The student that I kept company ended up helping another student who had mental health issues, and through the domino effect, it created a web of supportive community who supports discreetly, but there, nevertheless.

I believe that whatever pain we went through yesterday, might be someone else's strength in the future. Looking at in now, my long journey of healing has served its purpose. Even then, healers need healing too, you know?

From our conversations, I came to see that shared experiences create interconnectedness. In the end, we're not so different, you and me.

Keep the conversation going. You never know who it might reach next.

Heavy Hearts

Underneath the open skies,
Where our hopes and dream lie,
I see a glimmer of hope in your eyes,
Even when your heavy heart lets out a sigh.

Roads, they come with bends and turns,
Unexpected paths that make your stomach churn,
It's okay to stop and weep for a while,
Keep calm, and carry on with your head held high.

The journey is far from easy,
But take time when your heart gets weary,
From miles away I pray that you find your way,
In remembrance of Him, never will our hearts go astray.

Anis Nadia
4 May 2020.

The New Normal

Empty streets,
As the future seems bleak,
When memories come in fleets,
Hold my hands, when you heart feels weak.

Stripped to our bare necessities,
Away from the glitz and glamour of celebrities,
When we go inwards only will we see,
What matters most is you and me.

The warmth of a hand,
Footprints in the sand
At moments like these, we come to understand,
That it's the little things that matter in the end.

When this ends, and the world heals again,
As we get acquainted to the new normal of this land,
Know that I'll be there my friend,
As we walk together, hand in hand.

Anis Nadia
30 April 2020
11.40 pm

The Things We Took for Granted

In the light of the recent Covid 19 pandemic, I couldn't help but reflect on the things we took for granted. Be it the simple freedom of mobility, of going out to the beach, or hanging out at our favourite cafe, or simply commuting to work. Warm hugs, meet up with friends, or just seeing our family.

We are always in a rush to the next best thing, without realising that we have so much to be grateful for. The current situation led me to realise that at the end of the day, what matters is that we are healthy, have a shelter to protect us, and food on the table, and the fact that a lot of people out there don't have that. 

Seeing the countless act of kindness in these trying times restores my faith in humanity. From food donations by the public to fashion designers making PPE for healthcare staff. Kindness is abundant, and it warms my heart seeing so.

Being in isolation can take a toll on our mental health. Anxiety, depression can come at any time to anyone. Be wary of the news that we read, filter it if we must. With the non-stop flurry of information,  we can choose to keep updated but still preserving our mental health. Reach out to family and friends or psychosocial hotlines if things get too tough.

Although these are trying times, I believe that this too shall pass. Though it may take time, let us stay strong and mindful for the future. Biiznillah.

In these times of uncertainty,
Keep calm, and put your trust in He,
As the mania turns to full blast,
We pray that this too shall pass.

As the world rises to a panic,
And citizens start to be manic,
Let's be kind and compassionate
To others who are less fortunate.

To the ones in the frontline,
You may be exhausted in body and mind,
Your sacrifices engraved in our hearts,
As we pray for you, even when we're miles apart.

Waiting for the silver lining,
As there is always good in everything,
Though it may take some time to see,
Time will tell, for you, and me.

Anis Nadia

Twenty Six.

These days have come and passed in the blink of and eye,
And I am glad to say that here am I.
Standing here all flesh and bones,
As I think of the words that will end up on my stone.

How the best of things tend to come unexpected,
I have come to learn to not take things for granted,
For people come and go, that's just how life goes.
But the good ones will stay, and go through all your woes.

Light a spark that will ignite,
Realise all your dreams and let them shine bright.
Storms will come, sure they will do,
But everything will be allright, as long as I have You.

Keep calm and stay steady as the ships sails ashore,
As you will always be the girl craving for more,
Let your wings take flight up to the sky,
As we soar towards the heavens, you, and I.


As I sit with my cat in my kampung on this blessed day off, I've come to realise how fast time flies when we're doing the things we love. In the blink of an eye, half a year has gone. Alhamdulillah, these past six months have been an eye opening and fulfulling moment indeed. 

I spent the last half of 2017 struggling; struggling to recover from my major surgery, and to cope with new working environment. I prayed for 2018 to be a better year, and I truly believe that God has opened His doors for me.

Verily, after hardship there is relief. (94; Surah As-Sharh, The Relief)
This year I finally got back in the game, doing the things I am passionate for, and although it gets tiring at times, I'll gladly say I've never been happier.

I finally found the direction that I want to go to in life and career wise, and I believe that when we hold the right intentions, Allah will pave the ways for us, Biiznillah.

Alhamdulillah for all the good times and the good people I've met along the way.

Let's make more memories, shall we?


A recap of 2018's best moments so far:

Meeting new brothers and sisters from ASEAN countries and sharing knowledge and experience at RECONSA (Regional Conference on Student Actvism) at Universiti Teknologi Petronas.

Crossing off my bucket list of giving a TEDx Talk
TEDxUUM: Volunteerism, Literature and Everything in Between

Another bucket list of mine; 
going for outreach programme with 
Islamic Dentist Association Malaysia (IDAM) in Long Bedian, Sarawak.

May God grant me the time and capability to continue giving in whatever ways I can. Biiiznillah.